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a love letter for when you’re feeling creatively lost, uninspired, and uncertain…

by montoya miller

Here’s the thing my love…

One day you’re going to somehow take all of these tools and gifts and wisdom and combine them into something powerful and magical. And that thing will probably evolve a lot as time goes on. But it isn’t something you’re going to be able to think your way through. This is not a task for the logical mind. This is something that will continue to reveal itself the more you keep following your excitement. The more you keep exploring and creating for the hell of it. And having fun. Having as much fun as you possibly can.

How wonderful is that?

All you have to do is consistently take joyful aligned action. And when there is no next clear step, you rest. You play. You sit still.

It doesn’t need to be daunting or scary or even hard.

There’s no need to hurry. To get where?

Revel in this time. It’s the creative process of life, death, and rebirth in its most divine form. You’re being shaped and molded into exactly who you need to become through each moment and experience, but that’s the key. You have to let yourself be present with your full human experience in order for it to shape you. This is not something you rush. It’s not something you disregard or try to minimize the significance of.

You are becoming.

This is a time in your life to be honored and revered. One day, when you’ve created a bunch of things and found material success, you’ll look back and miss this time. You’ll wonder “Why didn’t I let myself enjoy it more? What was I so worried about?”. You’ll wish you had cherished it more. You’ll wish you drank up every drop of this nectar. The messiness. The uncertainty. The void before the knowing. You’ll look back and feel that this time had been so simple. All you had to do was ride the wave and keep learning. You’ll wonder why you made it so complicated.

You’ll see you had nothing to lose and everything to gain. The only thing standing in your way was you. Do not lose the magic, the essence, of this sweet, sweet time. Do not get so entangled in the what-ifs that you miss out on your life.

Let this time of uncertainty and unknowing dance you into everything you need to experience. This is part of your hero’s journey. Perhaps the most important part. There is no victory without facing the obstacle. Let this time linger as long as it needs to. Until you are standing fully in your power, wielding clarity and wisdom like swords of truth ready to cut down anything outside of yourself trying to tell you who you need to be. Develop your discernment. Question what this world tries to tell you. Always. Be molded by life, but also get quiet enough to hear your own inner guidance. Listen. Then move from this space.

And remember, when you arrive at the place you think you want to be, there will always be a new destination. A new mountain to climb. And that’s okay. That’s part of being a curious, ambitious human. But always remember to pause and celebrate the demons you have slain, the long nights, the nerve-racking conversations, the saying no, the tears, the laughter, the mind-numbing frustration, the delirious joy, the love, the birth of new, and the grieving of what is no longer.

This life, along with our earth, is cyclical. We each go through phases of exuberance, inspiration, community, creation, death, cleansing, solitude, and empty space. Nothingness. It’s in those moments, those phases when the answers just aren’t there, that you must be patient, trust, take a deep breath, and allow yourself to sink into the silence. It’s from this place that you can be reborn, your magic catching light once more.

But you must surrender to the darkness and the quiet, truly surrender, and be okay with not knowing what lies ahead. Trust that when it’s time you will rise from the ashes. The ashes made of tears, heartache, fear, sleepless nights, longing, chaos. These ashes are necessary in order for you to rise into newness. Revival. Rebirth. A Renaissance of the Self. But first, there must be death. Loss. Clearing. Grieving. Sitting in the dark void; the space of mysterious and infinite potential.

So have faith, darling. You will arrive exactly where you’re meant to. Because your soul has a plan that is unique to you. Listen to the gentle rumblings of your heart and all will be as it needs to be.

So have fun. Enjoy each moment. Remind yourself it doesn’t all need to be taken so seriously. You don’t have to be so hard on yourself. Lighten up and give your creative self, your inner child, some room to stretch out and breathe. To run free in wild abandon. Because one day you will long for this time again. But you only get to experience it once and that’s what makes it so special.

When all else fails, consider this…

Perhaps you’re meant to be lost.

Why are we so quick to deem being lost as bad?

Maybe you’re meant to traverse the hidden valleys and uncharted waters of life. Maybe you’re meant to be the explorer who goes where no one has before.
After all, you can’t wander without being willing to get lost from time to time.
But perhaps getting lost is exactly where you end up finding your magic.

All my love, Montoya


🪞 Montoya is an artist, writer, podcaster, hypnotherapist, rebel, pattern disruptor, explorer, maker of magick, and voyager.

🕯 Her lifelong devotion is to live a creative life and support others in doing the same. To make her life living art and prayer. To sink her teeth fully into the rich deliciousness and beauty of each moment. To live in dedication to creative reclamation, soul expression, and life artistry. And perhaps inspire others along the way.

🌙 Connect with her further:

Instagram | Podcast | YouTube

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